From Behind The Veil

From behind the veil......

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So here I am again, blogging!

Currently searching for private schools, and courses I can take even though Ive done that already for the umpteenth time, I still dont feel satisfied with my findings. Sigh. I really really want to take a certificate or a diploma baddly.Im not the kind of person who loves to sit arounddd and wait for a miracle to happen and I dont wanna be that kind of person. You know, they say you will only know how the person feels once you walked a mile in their shoes which i AGREE.

Nobody can really know how you feel - coz theyre not you! People talk and talk, but they dont realize how deep it hurts and that while theyre the one doing all the talk, Im the one facing the dull reality.Im really always a cheerful person, Im always all smiles, I dont deny that im happy, but this fact is eating away at me, it always comes back and hits me in the head.

We all know the past is the past. So why bring it up? Its no use. God knows if I could turn back time I wouldve. But its impossible.Every motivator ive come across tells us that failures are the pillars of success..so this shouldent be holding me back right? Im so irritable. I feel like Im becoming dumber day by day.

Sometimes I wish it were all so easy, but in life you dont always get what you want.
As a muslim, kite disuruh mencari harta seperti kita akan hidup selamanya, dan membuat ibadah seperti kite akan mati esok. But reality check, I know mostly wealth doesnt come from having a degree or PHD, heck those who are billionaires only possess a high school certificate, but to even obtain anything first, education is important. Education shapes us, makes us smart, makes up knowleagable, and takes us on a lifelong journey. You never know where it can take you. There are so many things to learn in this world, some you learn in school, some outside. But the true meaning of life and the reality of the real world can never be found in books. Books cant tell you how to make friends, well they can, but its mostly instructional, you have to be your own person.

Sometimes when I look at my goose, the birds that fly around in the lawn, I tell myself how lucky they are, they never have to worry about education, money, about a house, kids, spouse,clothes, about ibadah, about amalan or pahala or dosa. Theyre carefree. Nothing to worry about, except for where to poo or find food and build a nest to mate. Worry free. Duniawi and akhrawi free. It makes you realize its never being a human being. Mixed emotions,always worrying,problem prone,and never knowing when your life is going to end, be it when you have grey hair or abruptly. Before, I always got affected by words that I felt were condescending me..but it was always the same words repeated again2...they used to hurt, but now my heart is just like a stone...because after a while these words wont have an effect on you..ull just be going whatever..Admittedly, yes Im a sensitive person,I could shed tears at the expense of unkind words being thrown at me..but no more..im learning to make my heart a stone and so hard.Not to become heartless, but to protect mysself from being hurt repeatedly from certain expressions, and make it a shield for myself.

Andddd my spectacles got run over by a car..how nice...this specs was kinda slippery...so when I was outside the masjid it slipped off and bounced...next thing i knew a car was driving in and thus the poor spectacle broke...but its not like broken into two..it was still intact...but one side of the lens came out and was only the frame surrounding the lense on one side was a tiny bit mangled...amazing coz the plastic was strong! Thankgoodness I have a spare...even though the side of it came off and i had to constantly glue...but alhamdullilah! I think Im going to be extra careful with this one...protect it like a baby...maybe next yr or 2 yrs ill get a money...tht is if it survives..which Ill make it does!

Going to masjid soon...for maghrib..theres a majlis asmaul husna..ive never been to one so, curious to know how it goes! Interesting really :)

Im suppose to post my beauty review..but I dont feel in the mood for it..

Cya peeps. Or to whoever whos actually reading this.

; unveiling @ 5:59 PM | comment

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Ok ok....
my first blog post in god knows how many decades! Okay not decades la,but you know what I mean...
Ahhh Im so sleepy right nw, but I just cant sleep,why? Because I was smart enough to finish all of the leftover sayur goreng, some pieces of daging madu, and drink nearly a huge mug of ribena! ahhhhhhhhh.

Blasting my ears with Maher Zain. His songs never fail to make me feel calm :) Esp Inshallah :) Now switching to Rihanna - Whats My Name...the song is not bad actually...after listening to it fully..i can say i like it.. :) Funny how my musical taste differs within a sec ey? haha..

I was actually enthusiastic about posting a so called beauty review..but i guess that will jsut happen tomorrow...too lazy to update the pics and all now...

Plus, I sent my preggie sis a list of pages full of petua something like old wives' tips for pregnant ladies, aha in hope in might be useful for her - who knows? Plus, I found a whole lotta stuff for skin and body which I cant wait to try...

And I cant wait to go to MAHA 2010! its Malaysia's Agriculture Horticulture something...cant remember the last part though...but its expectted a 1 mill people there..amazing huh? its everything you could possibly imagine..evenrything in Malaysia's industry from foods to plants to cookies to cereals to cosmetics...cant wait!

And sch starts on 20 december! YIPPEE! FInally I get to do something with my life. Im sick of sitting around like a dumb duck for almost a year. I hope nothing gets in the way this time! I mean seriously, I dont know how long I can take this. Friends and family all are moving on, leaving me behind..while I stay stuck..Now I know, that the faults have always been mine...but thats no reason to stop...you have to fail in order to gain success and I dont care what anyone says! Before I burst into tears recalling my past, im gonna go listen to Only girl.

And SLEEP.

Goodnites peepos.

; unveiling @ 12:23 AM | comment

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Yay, I have a new blog skin now. Finally, after decades of having this skin, time for changes baby :)

Just ordered pizza, Super Supreme plak tu. Aha cant wait to sink my teeth in the comforting taste of the scrumptious stuffed crust cheese pizza mann. wooo :)
Im feeling a lil like on cloud nine but I do have to get back to earth coz my food is not here yet, thus fantasyworld has to be on hold for a moment.

Greattt. Just found out the pizza i ordered had no stuffed crust, coz i forgot to mention! garhhhh.oh well. its at the bottomest pit of my stomach,watodo.

Yawns.Time to explore the unknown and fb. heh.

Toodles peers.

; unveiling @ 10:22 PM | comment

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Waa. Its been long since I dropped a post here.
Im being a couch potato for months nw on end, and its hurting my head.
I want all the pressure,the studies,the dislikes,the hustle and bustle,the feeling of wanting to sleep 5 minutes more before you get your ass moving to school.
I miss that. Hopefully, June 2010 will do me justice.
Cant wait for Sept tho, coz thats when my khal wedding takes place. Off to zuad he goesss.
Fiinished almost the whole season 2 of Legend Of The Seeker, who knew it would be sooo interesting?
Missing friends in sg much2, but, you dont always get what you wish. Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worst.
Its been sometime since i roamed sg, Im afraid I dont even recognize my old ways there anymore. All we can do is hope,its what keeps you going.
Im nt a little girl anymore, I do wish sometimes I get to make mistakes and learn.Feeling like Britney in Overprotected.
Right nw, i guess fantasy is my only friend?
When one much awaited day comes, I will be terrified of first impression judgement frm sm1 hu means the most. Once bitten twice shy, I pray that history will nt repeat itself, esp with someone who cares too much.
Sometimes i just wanna hug, and fall helplessly into arms, but its imppossibble nw.
Without further ado,Im hungwyyyyyy.
My THOSAI is waiting for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Missin ur voice, goodbye.

; unveiling @ 7:12 PM | comment

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Yo peeeeeeeeps. GUESS WHAT! MY O LEVELS ARE FINISHING THIS WEDNESDAY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
COOL OR WADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
hahahah yes i was demented for one moment ;)

Alhamdullilah I got to return to my beloveddd house after one month in singapore. I MISS EVERYTHING! not to mention my bed, my room, my parents, my mum's cookingg...ahhhhh but its been nice to be in Singapore...you guys know who you are...you all made my experience funn! I miss alot of people i managed to see all actually hahaha...safe to say 2009 was unlike any other year I had in my life...its the best, and im thankful to god for tht..

Made new friends, met old ones..and they are all dear to me...this year i faced my exam with more confidence then when I did last year. If woure wondering, im superr duperrr lazy to elaboratee. Just had macs, and im super full man. ahhhhhh. i gonna miss my gals and alll...abbas all...but all good things gotta come to an end right....

CHAO LOVES!

; unveiling @ 12:20 AM | comment

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MUGG HANISAH MUGGGGGGGGG! i shoudent be listening to lisa marie presley right now...too much time ticking..hehe..but I got to speak to farah,aishah,diyanahhh and dinahhhhhh through skype..coooll or wad..since evryone left one by one..in the end diyanah called after dinah left..hehe..then i think we talked for about one hour! Shes such a darling lahh and funnnyyy! I wanna meeet her! i CANT WAIT! Actually, i miss all of them luhhs, the arab hotties..hehe, the shahabs,alsree,alhaddads(ehem ehem)..heheheh..alrite, im gonna tame myself and start shifting my focus to books! i HAVE HAVE to cut down on facebook and cut down for the zillion times i go to hes profile..LOL..MUGGING TIME STARTS NOW! or so called..

; unveiling @ 2:07 PM | comment