So here I am again, blogging!

Currently searching for private schools, and courses I can take even though Ive done that already for the umpteenth time, I still dont feel satisfied with my findings. Sigh. I really really want to take a certificate or a diploma baddly.Im not the kind of person who loves to sit arounddd and wait for a miracle to happen and I dont wanna be that kind of person. You know, they say you will only know how the person feels once you walked a mile in their shoes which i AGREE.

Nobody can really know how you feel - coz theyre not you! People talk and talk, but they dont realize how deep it hurts and that while theyre the one doing all the talk, Im the one facing the dull reality.Im really always a cheerful person, Im always all smiles, I dont deny that im happy, but this fact is eating away at me, it always comes back and hits me in the head.

We all know the past is the past. So why bring it up? Its no use. God knows if I could turn back time I wouldve. But its impossible.Every motivator ive come across tells us that failures are the pillars of success..so this shouldent be holding me back right? Im so irritable. I feel like Im becoming dumber day by day.

Sometimes I wish it were all so easy, but in life you dont always get what you want.
As a muslim, kite disuruh mencari harta seperti kita akan hidup selamanya, dan membuat ibadah seperti kite akan mati esok. But reality check, I know mostly wealth doesnt come from having a degree or PHD, heck those who are billionaires only possess a high school certificate, but to even obtain anything first, education is important. Education shapes us, makes us smart, makes up knowleagable, and takes us on a lifelong journey. You never know where it can take you. There are so many things to learn in this world, some you learn in school, some outside. But the true meaning of life and the reality of the real world can never be found in books. Books cant tell you how to make friends, well they can, but its mostly instructional, you have to be your own person.

Sometimes when I look at my goose, the birds that fly around in the lawn, I tell myself how lucky they are, they never have to worry about education, money, about a house, kids, spouse,clothes, about ibadah, about amalan or pahala or dosa. Theyre carefree. Nothing to worry about, except for where to poo or find food and build a nest to mate. Worry free. Duniawi and akhrawi free. It makes you realize its never being a human being. Mixed emotions,always worrying,problem prone,and never knowing when your life is going to end, be it when you have grey hair or abruptly. Before, I always got affected by words that I felt were condescending me..but it was always the same words repeated again2...they used to hurt, but now my heart is just like a stone...because after a while these words wont have an effect on you..ull just be going whatever..Admittedly, yes Im a sensitive person,I could shed tears at the expense of unkind words being thrown at me..but no more..im learning to make my heart a stone and so hard.Not to become heartless, but to protect mysself from being hurt repeatedly from certain expressions, and make it a shield for myself.

Andddd my spectacles got run over by a car..how nice...this specs was kinda slippery...so when I was outside the masjid it slipped off and bounced...next thing i knew a car was driving in and thus the poor spectacle broke...but its not like broken into two..it was still intact...but one side of the lens came out and was only the frame surrounding the lense on one side was a tiny bit mangled...amazing coz the plastic was strong! Thankgoodness I have a spare...even though the side of it came off and i had to constantly glue...but alhamdullilah! I think Im going to be extra careful with this one...protect it like a baby...maybe next yr or 2 yrs ill get a money...tht is if it survives..which Ill make it does!

Going to masjid soon...for maghrib..theres a majlis asmaul husna..ive never been to one so, curious to know how it goes! Interesting really :)

Im suppose to post my beauty review..but I dont feel in the mood for it..

Cya peeps. Or to whoever whos actually reading this.